Because I am a grammar nerd, I notice people’s mistakes. And for the most part, I let them slide. But there is one specific, culturally pervasive error that drives me batty, and the way I contend with it goes in phases:
Absolution. These people simply don’t know any better, I tell myself. Sure, it’s a basic rule of grammar, but how is anyone to be expected to know it when no one around them does either?
Cynicism. Dammit, these people should know better. Didn’t they have English teachers? Doesn’t anybody learn this stuff anymore? What’s wrong with parents these days? Aw, the world’s going to hell.
Smugness. You know what? You go ahead and use the word incorrectly. I will silently judge you, chuckling and feeling superior. I am in a secret club filled with people who know how to use semi-colons and when to capitalize the word president.
Preaching. I can’t take this anymore! I don’t care how much of a jackass I look like; I’m going out into the world and TEACHING people how to use this word correctly. I’ll be the friggin’ Johnny Appleseed of grammar.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
As you may have guessed, I’ve reached the preaching phase this morning. Here’s the peeve:
“I need to lay down.”
“I’m going to lay on the beach.”
“Buster! Lay down.”
I suppose I could waste a bunch of energy trying to explain why the above phrases should be using the word “lie” instead of “lay,” but instead I thought I’d share a project I did with my daughter one afternoon when she was about seven years old. I wrote the words and she drew the pictures. Since we created this, I have used it to educate many of my adult friends (after I’d cycled past the absolution, cynicism and smugness phases). May it edify you as well.
Click to view full-size drawing
next episode……lose vs loose – another biggy
Agreed – but not as bad, because I don’t have to HEAR them make the error; it’s solely a written mistake.
Could you do one about “who” and “whom?”. Those two drive me nuts! I mean, what idiot(s) made up the English language, anyway?
I totally, thoroughly, 100% know how you feel. I am exactly the same way and experience all the same emotions. It’s truly difficult for me to respect someone – REALLY respect them – if they don’t know how to use a semicolon correctly. (Does it really have a hyphen though?) So… are we superior or neurotic??
Can’t it be both?
Keep up the good fight, Susannah!
Languages are invented by the people who speak them. If many people who speak a language speak it a certain way, that’s how it’s spoken. You’re the one who’s wrong. You’re wrong about how English is spoken. Get with it.
I certainly won’t dispute the fact that languages are not fixed. They evolve. The English language is evolving faster than ever before because of the Internet, text messaging, etc. And I am not completely averse to all forms of this linguistic change. But I do think some rules are useful, and mass ignorance is not necessarily sufficient reason to change a good rule.
A very smart guy named Simon explains it in this thread:
http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=74280614587&topic=11326
He makes the point more elegantly than I ever could. Check it out. Thanks for reading, and posting…
N